'I can't magic up a man' says Merlin star Michelle Ryan
By Lizzi Hay

Former EastEnder Michelle Ryan survived a Hollywood flop and a very public breakdown to cast her spell in the BBC's Merlin. Now, she just needs to find a chap...

Michelle Ryan might never have seen herself as a gambler, but suddenly she is talking like one. First, she tells me that she has a 'great poker face', meaning that she has a natural ability to control her emotions. It's a handy skill for any actor to have.

Indispensable for her, though, having been through the Hollywood wringer, and having to be publicly upbeat about her experiences. Then, she likens her career path to a board game which is tricky for a novice to play.

'Everyone had high hopes and I knew the stakes were high. But that's the way it works out there,' she says. 'I had read enough about Hollywood to know what to expect. I knew it was a big game of chess. It's taken a long time to absorb, but you take something from every job,' she says. 'You learn and you grow.'

For ambitious young actors everywhere, the tale of Michelle Ryan should be a salutary one. A household name in the UK, thanks to her role as Zoe Slater in EastEnders, Ryan was convinced she had what it takes to make it on a global scale. Unlike many, she acted on her ambition and sooner than you can say 'Walford where?', she was off to the US.

At first, it seemed as though she had catapulted herself from pretty British soap actor to an international star when, last year, she landed the title role in the remake of the 1970s series Bionic Woman. She signed on the dotted line for a seven-year contract and her trajectory seemed assured.

Then: disaster. Bionic Woman flopped. The show was not commissioned for a second series and Ryan - already suffering jibes about her lack of star status and unconvincing American accent - was on a plane home, her tail between her legs.

Worse, she came home to a Britain that had all but forgotten Zoe Slater ever existed.

She admits she isn't often recognised in the street these days. 'If I wear make-up, then people recognise me,' she reveals, 'but the rest of the time, no one really bothers. People do come up to talk to me, but I don't think it will be like EastEnders again.'

Could her fortunes have turned again, though, placing her star once more in the ascent? For the first time since Bionic Woman, Ryan is back on British TV screens, starring in Merlin.

Her character, the wicked sorceress Nimueh, may not be quite the glamorous lead role she is used to, but she may yet have the last laugh. She's too polite to crow, but the British show has been snapped up by NBC - the very network that decided to do away with Bionic Woman. And she's thrilled at how things have now panned out.

'Nimueh was only supposed to be a cameo role in three episodes, but they were so pleased with her that she appears in five,' she points out. 'It's the first baddie I've ever played and it has been great fun. I have dreadlocks and a red, slashed costume, which is very striking. I have blue contact lenses that are quite hypnotic, too. I've kept them for a couple of auditions I have coming up - I hope they'll give me an edge.'

Michelle with co-star Jessie Wallace in Eastenders. It was during this period that she suffered from nervous exhaustion

The raft of auditions ahead is giving her some comfort. As Ryan puts it, 'I feel like I'm moving up the ladder, that I can be a little choosy, and say, "Actually, I don't want to be on that." Bionic Woman did open many doors for me.' The fact that Nimueh is something of a temptress won't do her any harm, either. 'She is very sexy and magnetic. Men seem to be drawn to her,' she says.

The same could be said, of course, for Ryan herself. She is a little bashful about the fact that she receives requests for naked pictures - or her hand in marriage. In reality she was something of a late starter on the dating front. She bagged her first boyfriend, Footballers' Wives star Gary Lucy, when she was 18, two years after she first appeared on EastEnders.

But her romantic life has long defined her. She suffered a near nervous breakdown in 2002, and had to have some time off from EastEnders.

Her problems were instantly linked to her private life and the end of her relationship with Lucy, who had been pictured with another woman. It has never quite been established what happened during those difficult days, but Ryan's parents contacted the police after she went missing.

She was found shortly afterwards, near a notorious suicide bridge over the A1 in north London, reportedly suffering from nervous exhaustion. She was advised by the doctors, her parents and EastEnders' producers to take a four-month break.

'I had this amazing new body, and was super-fit, but I couldn't get a man.' Michelle starring in the ill-fated Bionic Woman

She admits that it was perhaps a case of too much too young. 'You do mature faster in this profession because you just have to deal with things. I had to grow up quickly on EastEnders. It's only when I look back that I think, "Blimey, I was only a girl." I now know that sometimes you have to let things slide and have the confidence not to let anyone have power over you, because then they can bring you down. Soaps can take over your life, and it's learning to find that balance between working hard and looking after yourself.' She spent those months off at home with her family.

For all her star potential, Ryan had led a sheltered life, growing up in a semi-detached house in Enfield, north London, with her brother, Mark, 18; fireman dad, Craig, 46, and beautician mum, Tina, 45. During that time with them she says she simply caught up on sleep and recharged her batteries.

'People have blamed Gary, but it wasn't his or anybody's fault. I was exhausted and very down. I desperately needed a break.' It did not help that she felt the press were obsessing about her weight. 'People were writing really hurtful things, saying I looked too big on screen and commenting if I put on the slightest amount of weight. It made me feel terrible; at that age you're trying to come to terms with your body and you haven't got the confidence or inner belief to think "stuff you."'

She had admitted that she was bullied at school because she never had a boyfriend, claiming, 'I was a bit of a geek. Good-looking guys were off-limits. I didn't start dating until I was 18.' It's hardly surprising, then, that she struggled when she was catapulted into the public eye, or that today she laughs about her supposed power over the opposite sex, brushing off all those stories about her being a regular fixture in those 100 Sexiest Women polls.

Bradley James as Prince Arthur, and right, Colin Morgan as the young Merlin. Michelle will star alongside the actors as the wicked sorceress Nimueh

She claims that, far from cementing her status as a sex symbol, the Bionic Woman role blew her chances with men altogether. 'I knew playing a woman with bionic strength was going to ruin my chances because men were going to be scared,' she admits. 'I had this amazing new body, and was super-fit, but I couldn't get a man.'

She was linked to semi-professional footballer Tommy Williams, but insists she is adapting to her newly single status. 'I'm loving it,' she grins. 'I love how it feels to be free. It's so great to be 24 and have no ties. I can go on dates, but there is no pressure.

I'm in no rush to settle down. 'I definitely want to get married and have kids, but at the moment, marriage would feel like a contract.' And obviously she's had enough of the disappointment those can bring. 'Yes,' she laughs. 'Being tied down like that is a scary thought at the age of 24. You want to be free. So until I meet the man who changes my view on that, I don't think I will.'

So who might change Ryan's view on marriage? 'Eric Bana!', she exclaims, confessing that the Australian actor - who played Henry Tudor in The Other Boleyn Girl - is her dream date. She also gets all gooey when she talks about Adam Garcia and Sean Maguire, her co-stars in Mr Eleven, an ITV romantic comedy to be broadcast later this year. 'I saw Adam on stage in Saturday Night Fever when I was 14. I had a crush on him, big time.'

So what is next? Mr Eleven will see her back in a leading role, and she says she aspires to a career like Nicole Kidman's or Kate Winslet's. But even if that level of fame eludes her, she is unlikely to be tempted back to EastEnders. 'It was an amazing apprenticeship, but I got bored doing the same thing day in, day out,' she says.

You might think, given her Bionic experience, that she would not contemplate a return to Los Angeles, but she surprises here, too. Because much of the preparation work was done in Canada, she doesn't feel she has 'done' Hollywood properly. 'I missed the whole LA experience when I was working on Bionic, so I would like to spend some time there.'

Back in London, she isn't quite as settled as she'd like to be, either. Her premature return meant that it was practical to move back in with her folks, but she is itching to find some independence. Wherever she goes from here, though, she is determined to treat the rollercoaster showbiz journey as the game it has to be, if you are to stay sane.

'What I have learned from all this is that you can't control life and the less you try to control things, the more fun you will have - and that's what I want more of.'

Daily Mail October 4th 2008
© 2008 Associated Newspapers Ltd